Live from Mantra Studios, Chris and Sam return for another week, only this time one of them failed to watch any football. The Cellar finally returns to a semblance of normalcy, and we look across the round and try to figure out what happened.
A special, face-to-face edition of the podcast, with a rambling coverage of all the worst of AFL this week. Includes our lessening fears of the Adelaide buzz saw, the special Shanghai trip for our special boys, and the demolition of Chris's Cats for the third week.
We review the latest humiliation for the Hawthorn Hawks, Sydney Swans, and an oh so close game for North Melbourne's Kangaroos, leaving all three winless to start the season. Sam reviews the food available at UNSW Oval in ... Canberra?
Another week of upsets in the cellar, with Hawthorn, Sydney, and North Melbourne all making unexpected appearances. We delve into the joys of their failure, and Sam speaks in raptures of his beloved Blues.
If Round 02 brought us two complete drubbings and one nail-biter, it also brought us beautiful moments of symmetry with the ladder perfectly balanced, and moments of gorgeous serendipity in Sydney's presence in the bottom four. Chris also tries to kick Sam off the pod.
We return from the podcasting equivalent of an ACL, with hot takes on Carlton, Fremantle, Gold Coast, Brisbane, and the triumphant conclusion to the AFLW.
Slumping back from the depths of winter, Sam and Chris try to muster the will and the courage to talk about the bottom four. It is ... difficult.
Following Carlton’s fourth win in a row under Brendan Bolton, I thought it'd be interesting to look at the turnarounds of previous winners across the history of the AFL/VFL.
The last time was West Coast, who went from 4 wins for the whole of 2010 to go on a seven-game tear at the end of the 2011 season, finishing in 4th, making it to a preliminary final where they were smashed by eventual premiers Geelong. This was the squad's high water-mark, dropping to 5th, 9th and then 13th in the next three years before bringing in Adam Simpson.
We have to go back another 12 years to the Brisbane Lions teams of 1998/99 for the previous last-place-to-finals team. People will recognise that this is Brisbane's 2nd and 3rd years in the competition following their merger with Fitzroy, with a large list struggling to gel together. Of course, this team would be more successful than West Coast, winning the 2001/02/03 premierships, albeit with only one former Fitzroy player left.
Prior to that, there's only a one-year gap between this Brisbane team and the 1998 Melbourne Demons, who managed to rise to fourth from the previous year’s last place.
The most impressive turnaround has to be the 1976/77 Magpies, who managed to go from last to first, drawing and then losing the Grand Final to North Melbourne. This was also the commencement of the infamous Colliwobbles era, where they would make four Grand Finals in five years, losing all of them.
In the history of the AFL/VFL, nine teams have made the finals after finishing last in the previous year. On average, that’s one turnaround team every thirteen years. Since the inception of the AFL, it’s been every nine years. If Carlton manage it this year, it’ll be every six.
Obviously, the likelihood of this occurring is shifted by the various changes to the structure of finals systems which have made it easier to secure a contemporary finals berth than those of the 70s and 80s. You also get some weirdness in the pre-McIntyre finals system (prior to 1931), creating fun results like the 1916 Fitzroy team which finished in both last place AND were the eventual premiers.
Data from the ever useful AFL Tables.
Yet another special face-to-face edition of the pod, whereby Sam and Chris talk to eachother in the same room. Wonders will never cease. Unlike our Cellar teams—Fremantle's, Essendon's, Brisbane's, and Richmond's seasons have all entered cardiac arrest. But whose is the most problematic? We look at the worst takes on Gary Ablett, and review the horrors of the Essendon club shop.
Links in this episode:
A special edition of the podcast, recorded in the same physical location (a deeply airconditioned room in Singapore). We have a look over which of the teams were the worst in the AFL last week, and discussion turns (as it must) to the Collingwood Football Club's shop. Sam is incensed about Shaun Hampson, Chris made a noise like a tiger.
Links for this episode:
- A terrible mark by Fremantle's Matt Tabener
- "Highlights" from the Carlton v Essendon game
- The Collingwood Member's Ring — only $5,999.00
- The Collingwood musical flag — expensive at $15
We review Round 04, 2016 of the AFL, including Fremantle's inexorable slide into Western oblivion, Collingwood's and Essendon's continued mediocrity, and look at a dumb article on why a good rule is bad. Sam gets disastrously upset about Carlton things...
- Nathan Buckley's post game conference made some good points.
- Relive the tense boredom of the 2005 AFL Grand Final.
- The Carlton shop has this Dale Thomas t-shirt, this Robert Walls book and this DVD of 2012 Victories for sale
- For some reason, we found this hilarious and relevant: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard apologise to Barnaby Joyce.
We review Round 03, 2016, and look at just how terrible Essendon, Brisbane, and Carlton were, while Fremantle gets off the hook for another week. We dive deep into $5 note design, and cast our eyes over the wares of the Brisbane Lions. Sam wonders when his beloved Blues will get a win.
Sweet content mentioned in this episode:
- A terrible article about momentum from the Guardian.
- A much better article about momentum from Grantland.
- The redesign of the Australian $5 note
- Brisbane's excellently awful shop intro.
- The limited edition 2013 NAB Cup Champions poster
- The not-so limited edition Neon Clock.
AFL is back! Officially! And we are back. Again. Again! A very excited (and exciting) episode, in which we cover the stupidity of the drugs 'scandal', look at some surprising additions to the bottom four, and review a special set of merch from the Adelaide Crows. Chris gets incensed about the lack of recognition for Jake "Big Cheese" Stringer.
Links mentioned in this episode:
- Caroline Wilson: Club Culture Must Improve
- Collingwood's defeat at the hands of Sydney: Highlights.
- Fremantle's capitulation to a rampant Big Cheese: Highlights.
- Big Cheese Stringer goes for the big time six points.
- The Adelaide Crows Shop Specials: Shirt & Gnome
We run through everything left from the NAB challenge, go in depth on a very special team, and finish off the What If Teams Were Comprised of the Thing Their Nickname is Bracket 2016. Very exciting.
Links from this episode:
- The Richmond / Port Adelaide Bloodbath
- The Best to Worst Roo Jumpers
- Women’s League Applications Open
We delve into all the news from Week 03 of the NAB Cup, including Essendon's offensive performance, Port Adelaide's Pokémon Day tribute, and continue to dredge deep and dank content from the 2016 Bracket.
Why not give us a review and subscribe on iTunes?
Links from this episode:
The Cellar continues to chart the best of the worst of AFL football with a review of the Carlton Blues and Essendon Bombers NAB cup clash. Our intrepid reporter was there to bring you all the lowlights. We continue to explore the What If Teams Were Comprised of the Thing Their Nickname Is 2016.
We emerge from the dank darkness of our Summer cellar retreat, with the freshest and hottest of takes on the latest AFL news. Or... not. We unveil a special preseason segment.
The Return of the Return of the Football Jesus. The bombing of the Essendon Bombers. The rise of the Saints. What's that Melbourne doing? Where was Brion the Lion when Brisbane needed him most?
+ Decisive Indecision!
+ Rhodes Goalkicking Scholarship!
+ We called a psychic hoteline and they told us where the bottom teams would end up. Not really. But we may as well have.
Subscribe via iTunes.